I texted a friend today because I was thinking of her. I asked her how she is. We texted back and forth and it was pleasant. A few minutes later she sent me a long text saying the truth. She opened up about dealing with depression and feeling inadequate. She said she knows God loves her and she’s trying to be content but she has such a hard time believing her worth.
It got me fired up. In a good way. Because you know what, I feel the same way most of the time. And so do a lot of my other friends. And so does most of the world. I started encouraging her all while preaching to myself. And then I sat down and started writing…
This is what I know. As humans we have been told things about ourselves that make us question our worth. If you encounter other people at all in your life, then someone at sometime has made you feel rejected or not valued. You have been criticized at some point and been told you aren’t good at something. It just happens. It’s part of life.
But what I know is true in my own life is that I hold on to those words and tuck them away in my heart. I believe them to be true and then save them for a rainy day. A day when I feel lonely. A day when I feel unloved or unappreciated. I save them for the breakups and when I lose my job. A day when I feel like I’m not enough. I save them for a day the scale is up and not down. I save them for the days I fail.
And then one little thing happens and I pull out all of those negative words and start speaking them to myself. They are words from 20 years ago and from 2 days ago. They are words from people who aren’t even in my life and people who I still call close. They are words that maybe held a little truth and words that held no truth at all. But I use all the words for ammo against myself.
I think we give Satan a lot of credit for trying to destroy our sense of self-worth and confidence but what I’ve come to realize is he doesn’t even have to do much work because I am doing a good enough job of roasting myself on a regular basis.
Now I believe that the devil is the master deceiver and will lie to us and try to destroy us by keeping us insecure and beat down. The last thing he wants is for us to be truly free.
But what if? What if we started saying all the positive things to ourselves that have been spoken over us? What if I started to affirm myself the way that God is trying to affirm me all the time? I’ve been told that I’m beautiful, that I’m a good singer, that I’m an awesome mom, that I am confident and bold. I’ve been told that I’m fun and funny. I’ve been told lots of lovely things throughout my whole life that I need to repeat to myself every day.
Because I think if we start replacing those lies with lovely truths about ourselves, we will find less and less ugly words to use to destroy our own selves. When I hear that voice say, “you’re fat” and I immediately argue with that voice and say “Then why does my husband think I’m beautiful? That’s a lie, I am not fat, just soft ;)” Or “you will never amount to anything” to “That’s not true, I am able to do whatever I want because I am full of determination and I’m driven”. I’m pretty sure those lies would stop right there and I would be full of confidence. Wouldn’t you?
Readers- here is my charge to you…. just try it. Do it for a week. When you hear the negative words from your past come up argue with them. Speak positive things over yourself and if you feel like you don’t have anything positive to say then email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I will give you gobs of truths about yourself. I love to encourage so it would be my pleasure!
Can we do a better job at doing this to ourselves but also to those in our lives? I don’t want to tear down people, I want to build them up because I think we do a pretty good job tearing ourselves down! Let’s all try to love better. It starts with yourself!